I know I’m beating a dead horse (or maybe it’s my own booty), but stay with me!!! Y’all know I live in a haunted condo, right? 👻 Check out the phantom-hand grabbing Pepper’s right butt-cheek!!! 👶🏻🍑 Might THAT account for the mysterious bruising on my right back-side?! 🤔 I KNOW no one here believes in ghosts… 😉🙋🏻‍♀️ (Oh, and since everyone’s asking, hit up Ronaldmcdonkey or go to www.ronaldmcdonkey.com for your own shirt! This one’s mine!) 📸: @imene.esq #ghost #phantom #haunted #evidence #proof #ibelieve

My outrageously funny fan, Ronaldmcdonkey just surprised me with this t-shirt. I 💙 it (even though the image upsets my mom because she doesn’t understand that’s not my real 🍑)! As PROOF, I’ve provided photos of my actual 🍑… which is actually EVEN MORE upsetting; because while it may not be as rotund, it is COVERED in mysterious bruises!!! 🤭🤷🏻‍♀️ Someone needs to photoshop that 💩! Or diagnose me!! 😬🙏🏼 Thank you, #ronaldmcdonkey for your hilarity and generosity, Momentum Talent Agency for your extra trouble, and imene.esq for capturing my horror-worthy 🍑! #lovemyfans

CONGRATS to my dear friend, Maria Elena Laas on her ENGAGEMENT!! 💕🥂 I feel strangely, cosmically responsible for the last one’s failure… having ripped off my bra at the rehearsal dinner just to win the limbo contest. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ (I’m VERY competitive, and those padded push-ups weren’t doing me any favors!) I PROMISE to behave better at this wedding!!! 🤪🤚🏼 #congrats #amiga #mariaelenalaas #engaged #limbo #contest #rehearsaldinner #braoff #howtowin #winning #whateverittakes #respectthehustle #yogaeverydamnday

I’M NOT DONE singing the praises of the following #emmy nominees with whom I’ve worked, partied, and even gone to college! 🏆💪🏼😈 In no particular order, #ReginaKing (Watchmen), Uzo Aduba (Mrs. America), #SamiraWiley (The Handmaid’s Tale), Seth Meyers (#lobbybaby), #JeffGoldblum (#TheWorldAccordingtoJeffGoldblum), Tituss Burgess (Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt), #RachelBrosnahan (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel), #JamesCromwell (#Succession), #DylanMcDermott (Hollywood Netflix), Susan Olsen & #MikeLookinland (#averybradyrenovation), and #FredWillard (Modern Family). CONGRATS!