Dear lighthouse life, Thank you for your thorough, albeit subjective analysis of my appearance. Beauty really IS in the eye of the beholder! Thankfully, my parents weren’t TOO disgusted, since they have the same smile and teeth and nose and wrinkles (you know, heredity). I’m lucky—being a beautiful ingenue was never part of the plan, but rather being an interesting, character actress. And well, whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it will achieve! But enough about me… who ARE YOU?? How do you have so much time on your hands?! I can only imagine how perfect your smile and nose and teeth must be! And if it’s not too personal, who hurt you? What bridge do you live under exactly? KIT! N

Y’all know I GO HARD on my birthday… This year promises to be (belting at top of lungs) ESPECIALLY FABULOUS! Please, local LA friends, make my birthday great again, and come to my party Monday!!! Yes, you got the invite… It’s in your FB events. RSVP already so I feel popular! Or just come. In costume! Or not. I may even do a mid-party, tear-away pant, costume-change!! (I mean, The theme IS MUSICALS, so ANYTHING GOES!!) JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR, what do you expect? It’s ME!!!!! Just don’t not come, then CRY FOR ME, ARGENTINA!! 🇦🇷 Ok, guys and dolls, you’ve been warned– we getting GREASY, and ALL THAT JAZZ! 🎉